What is social anxiety and how can you manage it?
Jump to section: What is social anxiety? | Symptoms | What are saftey behaviours? |
What casues social anxiety? | Treatment | How to support someone | Where to get help |
Have you ever felt your heart race at the thought of speaking up in a meeting? Or avoided a social situation because you were anxious about what people might think about you? For people living with social anxiety disorder, this can be a daily occurrence.
Here, we explore what social anxiety is, as well as treatment and support options, with strategies from psychologist Maria Ruberto to help build social confidence.
What is social anxiety?
Social anxiety disorder is an excessive fear of being judged, embarrassed or criticised in social settings. A person with social anxiety may go out of their way to avoid social situations where they feel likely to be judged. Even everyday interactions like ordering a coffee from a café can be stressful for a person with social anxiety.
Social anxiety can feel overwhelming; however, with the right strategies, treatment and support, people living with social anxiety disorder can learn to reduce the impact it has on their life.
Symptoms of social anxiety
Social anxiety can affect your mind and body. Symptoms may include:
worrying about how others see you
replaying past interactions in your mind
excessive scanning of other people’s facial expressions
a racing heart or chest tightness
sweating, shaking, or trembling
dizziness or feeling light-headed
nausea or an upset stomach
blushing, stammering or struggling to speak.
It’s important to remember that occasionally feeling shy or anxious in social settings does not mean you have social anxiety disorder. People living with social anxiety disorder experience an excessive fear and avoidance of social situations.
What are safety behaviours?
Many people with social anxiety develop ways of avoiding discomfort in social situations. These are known as safety behaviours. Some common safety behaviours are:
saying no to spending time with friends
sitting at the edge of a group instead of joining in
using headphones to discourage social interactions
avoiding certain words for fear of mispronouncing them
avoiding eye contact.
Ms Ruberto explains that while these strategies can feel protective in the moment, they often reinforce social anxiety over time.
What causes social anxiety?
Many factors can contribute to social anxiety, including family history, natural temperament or shyness, and experiences of bullying or poor treatment.
Ms Ruberto explains that social anxiety is also partly about how the brain processes information, and that people with social anxiety tend to perceive more ‘threats’, such as judgment or rejection. In addition, unhelpful thought patterns known as ‘thinking traps’ can reinforce their social anxiety. A common thinking trap is believing that you don’t belong. Another is that other people aren’t to be trusted. When your brain focuses on these patterns, it trains itself to expect negative outcomes, which further encourages avoidance of the situation.
24/7 Medibank Mental Health Support
Medibank health insurance members can chat to a mental health professional about how they feel and ask questions about a range of mental health concerns for themselves or a loved one and get guidance on what they can do next. Chat online or call 1800 644 325 anytime of the day or night, 7 days a week at no extra cost.~
Seeking help for social anxiety
Without the right treatment and support, social anxiety can take a serious toll on a person’s quality of life. Common complications of untreated social anxiety include social isolation, depression and substance abuse.
If you think you may have social anxiety disorder, talking to your GP is a good place to start. They can assess your situation and recommend next steps, including referring you to a mental health professional if needed. If you’re anxious about seeing a GP alone, ask a friend or family member to go with you for support.
Treatment for social anxiety
Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective treatments for social anxiety. CBT can help people understand how their thoughts, feelings and behaviours are connected, and offer practical ways to challenge unhelpful thinking patterns. Over time, this can make social interactions feel less threatening.
Treatment may also involve slowly and safely facing feared situations. Relaxation techniques like meditation, mindfulness and visualisation are often used as well.
In certain cases, your doctor may recommend medication to support therapy.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s situation is different, so treatment may look different for each person.
How to support someone with social anxiety
Ms Ruberto explains that supporting someone with social anxiety is about helping them build confidence, not removing every challenge or discomfort.
Here are her top five tips for supporting someone with social anxiety.
1. Be an anchor to resilience, not an ally to anxiety.
Offer steadiness without trying to remove their discomfort or control their feelings.
2. Don’t automatically accommodate safety behaviours.
Encouraging someone to avoid the events they’re anxious about can reinforce their anxiety.
3. Encourage small, manageable steps.
Help your loved one gradually face social situations to help build their confidence.
4. Focus on mental fitness.
Support habits that strengthen resilience, like reflecting and learning from discomfort.
5. Celebrate progress, not perfection.
Notice and acknowledge small wins rather than expecting them to overcome their anxiety completely.
Check out our social confidence podcast
Psychologist Maria Ruberto joins Medibank’s Dr Chris Robinson to explore social anxiety in a special Medibank podcast. Tune in to hear simple, science-backed strategies to ease social discomfort and build meaningful connections.
Where to get help
If your life or someone else’s is in danger, call 000 immediately.
If you’re in distress and need help, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support.
For non-emergency support, your GP or regular health practitioner is often the best place to start. They will be able to assess your individual situation and recommend the best next steps for your recovery.
Medibank health insurance members can chat to a mental health professional about how they feel and ask questions about a range of mental health concerns for themselves or a loved one and get guidance on what they can do next. Chat online or call 1800 644 325 anytime of the day or night, 7 days a week at no extra cost~.
Remember that help is always available, no matter the situation.
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While we hope you find this information helpful, please note that it is general in nature. It is not health advice, and is not tailored to meet your individual health needs. You should always consult a trusted health professional before making decisions about your health care. While we have prepared the information carefully, we can’t guarantee that it is accurate, complete or up-to-date. And while we may mention goods or services provided by others, we aren’t specifically endorsing them and can’t accept responsibility for them. For these reasons we are unable to accept responsibility for any loss that may be sustained from acting on this information (subject to applicable consumer guarantees).