Worried about someone’s mental health?

Supporting someone who’s experiencing mental ill health can be challenging. Whether it’s a friend, family member or partner, you want to be there for them, but it’s not always easy to know how.

From letting them know you’re there for them to looking after your own mental health too, here’s how you can show up for a loved one who’s doing it tough.

Signs someone might be struggling with their mental health

Sometimes it’s obvious when someone is struggling. Other times, it’s harder to tell. You might notice changes in how they’re acting or feeling, such as:

• withdrawing from friends or activities they usually enjoy

• changes in their sleep or appetite 

• mood swings, irritability or tearfulness

• seeming overwhelmed, flat or hopeless

• trouble concentrating or making decisions.

Everyone has their ups and downs, but if you notice these signs sticking around for more than a couple of weeks, it could mean they’re going through more than just a rough patch. It might be time to talk to them about what’s on their mind.

Starting a mental health conversation with a loved one

Starting a conversation about mental health can feel awkward or even scary, but it doesn’t have to be perfect. Just showing you care makes a big difference.

Try to find a quiet moment where you won’t be interrupted. Keep it simple and kind. You could say:

• “I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed like yourself recently. How are you doing?”

• “Want to talk about what’s on your mind?”

• “I’m here for you if you ever feel like chatting about anything.”

The key is to listen without trying to fix everything or offer quick solutions. Give them space to talk at their own pace. If they open up, thank them for trusting you and let them know they’re not alone.

Supporting someone to seek help for their mental health

If someone is struggling, encouraging them to speak with a professional is one of the most helpful things you can do. A GP is a great first step; they can offer a mental health care plan if needed, referrals to mental health specialists, or even just a safe space to talk.

You could say:

• “Have you thought about talking to your GP? They can help with this kind of thing.”
• “I'm always here to talk, but talking to a GP could be helpful too.”
• “Would you like me to come to the appointment with you?”

It’s also worth reminding your loved one that support comes in many forms: face-to-face, over the phone and online. 

What to do if someone won’t get help

It can be hard when someone you care about isn’t ready to seek support for their mental health. Try to remember that people move at their own pace. It can take time to acknowledge there’s a problem, let alone ask for help.

The most important thing you can do is let them know you’re there for them, without judgement or pressure. Avoid pushing too hard in case it makes them pull away. Instead, try to understand what might be holding them back. Are they feeling scared, unsure where to start, or worried about what others might think?

Keep gently checking in, even if it’s just a quick message or an invite to catch up. Small acts of care can go a long way in reminding them they’re not alone, and that help will still be there when they’re ready.

Look after your own mental health too

Supporting someone else’s mental health can take a toll on your own. You might feel stressed, helpless or even burnt out, especially if things aren’t improving for your loved one.

It’s not selfish to look after your own mental health and wellbeing. In fact, it’s essential. You’ll be in a much better position to support someone else if you’re feeling mentally well yourself.

Here are three steps to help you get started.

Make time for yourself

Schedule time to do the things that bring you joy and connection, whether that’s a hobby, time outdoors or time spent with friends.

Set boundaries

Be clear around what you can and can’t do to support your loved one. It’s okay to say, “I need some time for myself.”

Reach out

Talk to someone about how you’re feeling. This could be another friend, a counsellor or a support line.

Where to get help

If your life or someone else’s is in danger, call 000 immediately.

If you’re in distress and need help, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support.

For non-emergency support, your GP or regular health practitioner is often the best place to start. They will be able to assess your individual situation and recommend the best next steps.

Medibank health insurance members can chat to a mental health professional about how they feel and ask questions about a range of mental health concerns for themselves or a loved one and get guidance on what they can do next. Chat online or call 1800 644 325 anytime of the day or night, 7 days a week at no extra cost~.

If you just want someone to talk to who understands what you’re going through, there are several free services dedicated to providing support for people in your situation.

• Beyond Blue offers phone and online counselling for people who are going through a hard time.
• Parentline offers counselling and support for parents and carers.
• SANE Australia offers phone counselling and online support for people living with a mental illness and their carers.
• Kids Helpline offers phone and online counselling for people aged 5–25.

Remember that help is always available, no matter the situation.

Related articles