How to speak to a loved one about mental health

To get something off your chest. A weight lifted. A problem shared is a problem halved. There are many well-known sayings, or idioms, that capture the benefit of sharing your challenges with another person. But, despite understanding the benefits, we’re still finding it hard to open up.

News Corp Australia’s The Growth Distillery & Medibank’s State of Mind: Australia’s Mental Health Conversation 2025 report¹ revealed more than half of Australians have wanted to reach out to someone to talk about their mental health but didn’t.

There are many reasons you may have not felt like you could reach out. According to the research, not wanting to burden or worry others was the biggest barrier. Another significant barrier is the persistent stigma around mental health. Notably, regardless of their own personal beliefs, the majority (65%) of Australians agree that mental health issues can be perceived as a sign of weakness or failure by others.

How to deal with stigma

“The stigma is there and it's real. Speaking up will feel scary to most of us because of this. But it can be one of the most empowering and healing things that you can do for yourself,” says Medibank psychologist, Alison Sutton.

If the stigma around mental health is keeping you quiet, Alison has four tips to help you open up:

1. Choose the right person: Someone in your life that you feel comfortable and safe with; someone that you know is a good listener.

2. Start small: You don’t need to share everything all at once. It might be helpful to test the water, and ask ‘am I getting the response I need from this person?’

3. Speak in your own voice: You don’t have to start from the beginning or have it summed up in clinical terms. Just start from where you're at, using your own voice and your own language.

4. Be prepared for different reactions: Sometimes the person you chose to open up to won't be comfortable and you didn't predict that. Or maybe they have their own challenges going on and it's just not the right time for them to support you.

We’ve all got a part to play

Alison says that helping to remove the stigma around mental health is something we can all do.

“We can all do some small things to challenge the stigma, and that will have huge impacts over time with the ripple effect that occurs.”

Her first tip? Get vulnerable yourself, when you feel safe to do so.

“We can show everyone that it's okay to talk about our feelings by being open, and vulnerable, and honest about our own emotions and our own struggles.”

You can also help by supporting the people in your life who have spoken up about their mental health challenges. We can do that by really listening; without interruption and without going into problem-solving mode.

How to have a meaningful conversation

Mental health conversations, even with our loved ones, can feel daunting. What if I say the wrong thing? What if they get upset? It’s common to feel like you don’t have all the answers – in fact, the State of Mind report shows 1 in 4 Australians feel they lack the necessary tools and knowledge to have a mental health conversation with someone.

Alison shares her top tips for having the conversation:

• Choose the right moment: Make sure it’s a quiet and safe environment, somewhere you won’t be interrupted.
• Try talking while doing something together: Perhaps while driving somewhere or hiking together.
• Share as much as you’re comfortable to: It’s not all or nothing.
• Write it down: You may like to share what you’ve written or use what you’ve written to keep yourself on track.
• Be kind to yourself: Sometimes it just isn’t the right time or the right person. If opening up doesn’t go as planned, know that someone else’s reaction is not about you. Don’t let this stop you from finding support from someone else.

And if you’re the one offering support:

• Practice active listening: Give the other person your full attention and validate their vulnerability with verbal and body language cues that show you’re really listening.
• Check in on yourself: If someone shares something with you that challenges you, ask yourself ‘do I need support too?’
• Don’t try to problem-solve: It’s natural to want to help a loved one ‘fix’ their challenges. But it’s important that you are there to just listen and validate their feelings.
• Follow up is important: Healing takes place over time. Let them know you’re here to chat again if they ever need it.

The benefits of connecting with your family and loved ones

If you’re experiencing mental health challenges, sometimes the last thing you want to do is connect with others. It can feel easier to withdraw when you’re not feeling yourself. But meaningful connections are often exactly what you need, says Alison.

“We find when we have a conversation with someone we trust and love, we may start to release the built-up tension.”

Alison explains connecting with loved ones may also help to prevent the negative thought cycle from taking over, offer us insights into our experience, and give us another perspective on what’s happening.

How to seek mental health support

If you are experiencing mental health struggles, a good place to start the discussion about getting help is with your GP.

Medibank's 24/7 Medibank Mental Health Support is also available for all Medibank health insurance members. Talk with a mental health professional over the phone or online about any mental health or emotional concern and get guidance on what you can do next. Chat online or call 1800 644 325 any time of the day or night, 7 days a week at no extra cost.*

If you, or someone you know, need immediate support or medical assistance, contact 000 in an emergency or Lifeline on 13 11 14.

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